Going in Reverse-Forgiveness

"Let go of the past and go for the future. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined."

-Henry David Thoreau

Do you ever think to yourself "I am in living in the past?"  Well, some of us are living in the past. What we need to do is this very important thing. I personally have done it before. When I was about 22 years old, I was living with a friend at her father's house. I went to Church every Sunday which was a pleasant place to go because the people there wanted to be there. Then one day, I took what they said: ("Forgive") and I decided deep down that I wanted to forgive the person I felt most hurt by in my life up until that point. I was at the point in my life (mind you, it took me 6 years-after it stopped) where I was emotionally ready to forgive. I said: "I forgive you" and I did. Certain people didn't understand that but how could they? The reason they don't understand is because they've never tried to forgive people the way they should. They may be carrying resentment from their past experiences. So if someone says to you: "How could you forgive them? I don't understand how you could." then they have never experienced or tried to understand what it means to do so. Church sermons are stated with forgiveness and motivational speakers say it too! If you find that you can't, then you're not quite ready to do so but if you don't try then it may not happen. Once you forgive that experience, it makes it easier to move on with your life.

If you want to continue living in the past with the resentment you carry then get in your car and look out the back window and drive home in Reverse. You can do it, but it's going to be painful after a while. You're going to want to turn the car around. Your front wind shield is larger than your rear window because you need to see where you're going and the rear window is small so that you can see where you've come from. The rear window is the past which should be used as a reference. The past is a place of reference, not a place of residency. - Nigel Risner

Think about it. If you want another example: take a bag and pack it with several heavy books. Stand with your arms out and hold the bag in your hand. Stand there for a while. Do you want to put the bag down? Is it heavy?

The bag represents your past, obviously, but instead of putting it down, forgiving, and moving on, we decide to continue holding the bag. We carry the past with us and it's a burden to carry.

"No one can make me feel inferior without my prior consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

The secret to forgiveness is this: the other person doesn't have to know. (This is something I figured out when I was 22 yrs. old and no one ever told me but I heard it again when I was 30 almost 31 yrs. old) You also need to forgive yourself for what happened and forgive the other person for who they are in order to move on. If this person is still in your life, it will not matter what they say and do as long as you remember the statement made by Eleanor Roosevelt. (above) No one can make you feel a certain way without your consent. Think about it...................... Come up with your own example yet?

Plan:
Have you tried to change something about yourself that you don't like and find it hard to do on your own? Has it dragged out long enough? That's the way I felt too until I tried something different.

My plan, 2 months ago, was to change what I didn't like about myself on my own. No help, couldn't find a therapist and I was on my own. Then one day I took advice from someone I had been listening to for over 2 months. Unless I had something in my face to follow, I was never going to accomplish the goal I had set for myself. The plan I am using is called the 21 day plan. I wrote Day 1, Day 2, etc. on 3 calendars and hung them around my apartment and at work. One in my walk in closet-I go in there everyday. One on my refrigerator, I eat everyday. One in front of me at work, I see it everyday.

You have to post something in places that you see everyday. So, everyday I get through and accomplish my goals I highlight the "Day 1, 2, 3 etc." and I am LOOKING at what I have accomplished so far. It feels good to see my accomplishment coming to life. Without these, I would still be doing what I've been doing every other time. I've got to tell you, I feel different, emotionally and physically. SEEING is believing! LOOKING at what I want to accomplish everyday is MAKING IT POSSIBLE.  So if you've been wondering what else you could possibly do, this is it! It doesn't matter what you want to do, use this plan to accomplish your goal. Make it your own.