Forward

"Forward" Seems to be a word being used by people around me quite often lately. Sounds good but I carry the past on my shoulders like a heavy bag in my hand that I can't put down. I can't help but feel that the past will repeat because it has for 5 years! Why wouldn't I doubt it? Trust... now that's a hard one. I have found I can't trust anyone. Why can't I just give in and give my all and put my heart on the line and see what happens? I would rather take the risk and put my best effort into everything so I know that I tried and failure is not a result of my with holdings. Does anyone have advice?